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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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My fave neighbourhood here? Caringbah South, mate. The locals are quirky, passionate, and real. I often find wisdom in unexpected chats on Junction St. People here talk about family like it's the heart of society. Makes me think, "What a lovely, messy life we lead!" And then, bam, you remember the film... "the secret is in the eyes!" Crazy, right?

Justice For The Damned @ Caringbah Hotel